D BEST INSPIRED COACHING

BE – the change you want to see in the world

Redefining a famous quote: Being content in ouselves is the change we long for.

RELATIONAL WELLBEINGFEAR AT WORK

Deb Best

9/2/20264 min read

The typical understanding of “be the change you want to see in the world” is a call to take action on the shortcomings we notice in the world and in others. If we want compassion, be compassionate; if we want to better the environment, then take action to protect and improve it.

Social change begins with personal practice. This rings true for many of us, but there is something more in these words, and it's not so helpful. In fact, it's the opposite of helpful.

When we read the statement carefully, we notice that the call to action is rooted in dissatisfaction. Something external is judged to be not as it should, wrong in the world. From this perspective, something or someone needs to be fixed.

We imagine that once fixed, satisfaction will follow. So we are being called to act against whatever has become a thorn in the side of our happiness.

Notice the judgement implied in the call to action?

There are two parts to this judgement.

First, it assumes your point of view is right. What you see in the world that is wrong, is indeed wrong. The call to action is a need to strive, perhaps fight, against something or someone to win happiness.
Second, the statement implies you are also the problem. You are not doing enough or doing the right things already. If you had been doing things better, the world’s problems might not be as they are.

The two-sided message can be read as:

You are not good enough, and
you need to fix the world to be better.

Read it again slowly. Be the change you want to see in the world. Can you sense the scorn? The disdain aimed at each of us, personally. The assumption of wrong in that whatever you are doing now is insufficient.

You might be struggling or striving, dealing with so much, caring for so many already, but you need to strive more, correct yourself, be better than you are and have been. You are unworthy as you are.

I believe the call to action needs to be understood differently.

As an integral coach and business leader, I can see self-worth is a constant theme permeating organizations and our society. It weighs on our hearts. It seeps into relationships, workplace practices and even our aspirational statements, calling us to action out of scorn and guilt.

We strive to achieve and celebrate successes on the assumption that these actions will bring happiness, or at least a sense of security, belonging or being okay.

Through our efforts we can find ourselves in conflict with others who are barriers, to be overcome and subdued.

With this context, I am rewriting the statement.

BE – the change you want to see in the world.

Assume you are worthy. Assume you are whole, cared for and wanted, just as you are. You have no shortcomings to correct before you are worthy.

Simply, be. Breathe. Sense who you are now.

Nothing about this moment needs to be different. In this moment, you matter. In this moment, you are free to be content, and to not need anything more: no more stuff or action of any kind can make this moment any more than it is.

You are perfectly unique as the only you there is. You can recognize what is without making it right or wrong. Contentment is not something attained when everything goes our way; it is a relationship with the present moment.

No external achievement can make you more worthy than you already are, and always have been. Being content in the present moment is the change you want to see. It’s what we all want.

To BE content, here and now, and in every moment to come.

So what about that social change?

Wholeness doesn't eliminate the need for change; it changes the place from which we pursue change.

Action rooted in judgment, failure and fight is often short-lived and creates disharmony. We end up spinning our wheels and repeating patterns of trying.

Action rooted in wholeness arises differently. It is rooted in joy and compassion, burns longer with deep purpose and conviction.

Fear says, “I am not okay, and must try to be better.”
Wholeness says, “I am okay, and am free to share.”

Whatever a person chooses from a place of contentment is a gift. From contentment, people are often inspired to contribute—not because we need to prove our worth, but because we care to share in the joy of being, belonging and creating. Acting in the world with care becomes as natural and effortless as breathing.

A new lens…

Conventional interpretation & hidden insecurity

The world is wrong → I need to change it → then things will be better.
The problem is me → I haven't been good enough → I need to be better to be happy

Reinterpretation from a place of wellbeing

I am worthy → I don't need to change to be content → I am free to BE
I am whole → I can act from joy and care → I contribute because I am free to be fully ME

The world doesn't need me to become enough. I already am enough. I am filled with joy. I act from care and inspiration.

To understand hidden insecurity and the path toward wellbeing, join in the conversation, and feel free to sign up to the upcoming release of Fear at Work.

Walk with me

D Best Inspired Coaching

In the spirit of respect and truth, I honour and acknowledge that I live and work within the traditional, ancestral and unceded territories of the xʷməθkʷəy̓əm (Musqueam), Sḵwx̱wú7mesh (Squamish), and səlilwətaɬ (Tsleil-Waututh) Nations.